


I threw us into the flames

by smaragdbird



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, we need to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:09:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9094807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: Steve and Rumlow were in a relationship prior to the reveal of Hydra.Post-reveal they really need to talk





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19023.html?thread=44439375#t44439375) prompt

“Oh and Cap”, Fury said already turning to leave, “Brock Rumlow is alive. He’s in a coma but he’s alive.” With those words he left, leaving a puzzled Sam and a shocked Steve behind.

“Rumlow, that’s the guy who tried to execute us, right?” Sam asked. “Why does Fury think you need to know he’s alive?”

“He’s my boyfriend”, Steve said and then corrected himself. “Was my boyfriend.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Fiancé”, Natasha said. When both men stared at her, she asked, “What? Rollins teased Rumlow mercilessly about taking ages to pick a ring for you. It’s not exactly a secret, is it?”

“Natasha, Brock never asked me to marry him and he certainly didn’t give me a ring.”

She shrugged, “Guess it doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”

“You want to go and talk to him?” Sam asked.

Steve looked conflicted, as if he really wanted to but didn’t think he should. Sam had seen that look quite often in the past couple days. “He must have known I would never side with Hydra”, Steve muttered more to himself than to anyone else.

“Good thing he’s alive, then”, Sam said. “It’s one of the things you can ask him about.”

“You think I should do that?” Steve asked.

“I think you have questions, questions only he can answer. And when you have those answers you can sort out how you feel about him.”

“You mean apart from angry, betrayed and disappointed?”

Sam smiled. “Apart from those. What you two had sounded pretty serious. A part of you still loves him and that’s probably the part that hurts the most.”

“Damn, you’re good”, Steve said lightly.

Sam’s smile widened. “I know. Also it feels good to know that Captain America has a shitty taste in men. Makes you seem normal.”

/

The nurse looked at him. “Are you a relative?”

Steve hesitated then he said, “I’m his fiancé.”

She looked at the computer again. “His emergency contact is Jack Rollins.”

“He’s dead”, Steve said. “He was in the same building as Brock when it collapsed.”

She hesitated, shot Steve another look and then said, “Room 36a.”

“Thank you, ma’am”, Steve replied. He followed the signs until he stood in front of a blue painted door with a small sign on the side proclaiming it to be room 36a. Steve braced himself and then knocked. There was no answer, so he opened the door and stepped inside. Rumlow…Brock was seemingly asleep, lying still on the bed next to the window. Steve had seen his share of gruesome wounds during the war but it still hadn’t prepared him for this. Most of Brock’s body was covered in bandages but where it wasn’t the skin looked raw as if he had been flayed.

Steve was tempted to turn around and go, to leave this conversation for another day but he needed to know. “It’s nothing personal”, had kept him awake for long enough.

The worst part was the conflicting emotions he experienced. On the one hand there was the anger, disgust, disappointment but on the other hand Steve still loved him, desperately hoped for an explanation or waking up from this nightmare, anything. Peggy had been his first love but Brock was his first relationship. Steve had trusted him, had never noticed anything off, hadn’t questioned all those ‘classified’ missions Brock had been on.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again.” The words came so unexpectedly that Steve almost flinched. Brock’s voice sounded raspy. Smoke inhalation, Steve thought.

“Fury said you were in a coma.”

“Is that why you came here? To finish me off without anyone noticing? Sorry to ruin your plans.” He struggled to sit upright and Steve’s first instinct was to help him but he reminded himself why he was here and stayed where he was.

“I’m here to get answers.”

“They must be desperate if they’re sending you to interrogate me.”

“It’s not an interrogation”, Steve replied. “Brock, you tried to kill me.”

Brock shrugged. “I was under orders.”

“Were you also under orders to start a relationship with me?”

Brock stared at him like he couldn’t believe what Steve had just accused him off. “If you really believe that then why are you here?”

“I don’t know what I believe.”

“I told you it wasn’t personal.”

“I’m very sorry if I take my boyfriend trying to kill me and my friends multiple times personal.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “What did you think you’d gain from sleeping with me?”

“I’m not fucking Natasha Romanov. I don’t seduce people to gain their trust.”, Brock replied. “It wasn’t even a smart move on my part. I could’ve been compromised by my feelings for you.”

“We both know that didn’t happen”, Steve said acidly. “What did you expect? That I’d side with Hydra?” Steve said with utter disgust.

“Fuck Steve, I don’t know.” Brock ran a bandaged hand through his hair. “It wasn’t personal.” If Brock said this phrase one more time, Steve would probably hit him.

“Sorry but my boyfriend trying to kill me feels pretty personal to me.”

“I had my orders.”

“That’s it? ‘Nothing personal, I was just following order’ I’ve heard that before.”

“I didn’t like it but I believed in Hydra, in what they were trying to achieve. I believed it would be worth the sacrifice. There will always be sacrifices for the greater good. Even your friend Howard Stark knew that.”

“And when he realized he was wrong, Hydra murdered him and his wife”, Steve countered. “Do you really believe that? That the ends justify the means?”

“Does it matter? You already made up your mind. I follow a different ideology, so obviously I’m the scum of the earth.”

“You tried to kill me”, Steve yelled. “You tried to kill a few thousand people just because they might oppose Hydra ruling over everything.”

“Yes”, Brock said. “And I still think it was the right thing to do.”

“And the ring?” At Brock’s confused expression, Steve elaborated. “Natasha said you bought a ring for me.”

A complicated look passed over Brock’s face. “She told you that?”

“Right after Fury told me you’re alive.” Steve said.

“I bought it before Pierce told me about Project insight.”

“So if that hadn’t happened you would’ve kept lying to me? For how long? Your whole life?”

“Everyone has secrets. Do you think Fury tells you the truth? Or Natasha?”

“I’m not in love with them, am I?” Steve yelled. He took a deep breath to calm himself down again. “Did you mean it?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

“Yes”, Brock said, looking Steve straight in the eyes. “I did. I do. Nothing’s changed for me.”

That was the answer Steve had both been dreading and looking forward to. One the one hand Brock’s feelings for him had been genuine but on the other hand even that hadn’t been enough to keep him from attempting to kill Steve. It would have been so much easier if their relationship had been one more lie. But then Steve had learned that real life was a lot messier than he had ever believed before.

“I do know how to trust you anymore”, Steve said eventually, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Then don’t. Go home, Steve. There’s nothing here for you.”

“But I want to”, Steve continued as if Brock hadn’t said anything.

Brock laughed hollowly. It wasn’t a nice sound. “The Winter Soldier hit over the head too many times. You’re crazy if you think we can salvage anything from this.”

Steve shrugged. “We won’t know until we try.”

“You’re crazy”, Brock repeated.

“I went behind enemy lines on my own to get my best friend out of a prison camp. I kissed the woman I loved seconds before I jumped from a speeding car onto a plane that was about to take off”, Steve told him. “Continuing our relationship is not the craziest thing I’ve done for love.”

“You really want to try this?” 

Steve nodded. “I’m taking a chance. Now ask me already.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. You can give me the ring later.”

“Marry me?”

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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